Yesterday on Twitter someone asked “what’s your favorite movie?” I don’t usually respond to many general questions on Twitter, but this happens to be someone whose blog I follow so I responded, “Pay it Forward.” I simply love that movie. That discussion started me thinking about random acts of kindness and how they change not only the world around us, but us as well.

According to a group on Facebook, April 29 is National Pay It Forward Day. What does that really mean? It means simply a time to do something for a stranger somewhere, just do it, as a way of paying it forward. Think about how our world could be different on that day if every single person did that.

Several years ago I saw a show on Oprah about random acts of kindness. It became a thing with me, that I still do today. When I go through a toll booth on a highway, I always pay for the car behind me. It’s just a little something to brighten the day of folks, something done by a total stranger, and something for which nothing is required. While I imagine it made them feel good, it always made me feel awesome. It was just about a little something to make someone’s day where they didn’t even know who did it for them.

Tonight my brother, husband and I attended a concert. As we left the parking lot, we noticed that nobody was allowing any cars to get in the line. We eased out into the line with the help of the parking lot attendant, and joined the long line of cars heading toward the exit and the highway. Along the way there were several cars trying to get out of the parking lots, just waiting for anyone to offer them a break. We decided to do a little experiment. At each entrance, I let at least 2 or 3 cars go in front of me. I imagine there were some folks behind me who weren’t too happy, but those who were allowed to get in the line were sure glad. An interesting thing happened. Each car that was let in then stopped at the next entrance and let someone else in. And on it went. It was pretty fun to watch. Sure, it took a little longer to get to the entrance to the highway, but it was so worth it.

Another idea that is a fun thing to do is to see someone who serves in our military in a restaurant. Get in touch with their server and offer to pay, anonymously, for their meal, with a message that just says “thanks for your service.” Having lived out of the country the last two years, I am so thankful that I now live close to a military base and actually get a chance to do this now and then.

What about your neighbors? See some way you could do a little something to help them out? Don’t ask, just do it. Then watch what happens.

What can you do in a random act of kindness? Will you join me in the next week to find one random act of kindness a day that you can do for someone? I believe after the week, you’ll want to continue. Let’s see how many people we can influence. Enjoy it and I’d love to hear what you did and how it went!

It’s funny how life works sometimes. Last week right after I wrote this post, I came across a great example that related to leadership in some of my reading. I wished I had seen it before that post, so decided this morning it’s worth doing a “part two” to that post, just to share this story with you.

Last week when we talked about what happens when leaders derail is that they sometimes lose sight of their humility. I think it may be fear that causes that, and the puffer fish is a great example of what happens. When a puffer fish is threatened, they swallow huge amounts of water or air, causing them to grow several times their normal size. This allows them, in most instances, to not become prey for another animal. If you take a look at this picture, it also doesn’t make them very pretty. On one of my first visits to Barbados, I bought a puffer fish spine, all blown up, from a street vendor. I was fascinated with how big this little fish had become.

What we need to remember is that being humble is about not boasting or exaggerating our size. We often live in a “fake it till you make it” kind of world, and in reality that’s not authentic leadership. So, I encourage you, don’t become the puffer fish in your leadership style. It may work for the fish, but it’s not only unattractive but usually unsuccessful in leadership.

Humility

It’s a strange thing

The minute you think you’ve got it,
You’ve lost it.

Have you known leaders like this? In leadership, it really is about being humble and adopting that spirit of servant leadership. It’s been interesting lately as I venture into new territories with blogging and the internet world. There are so many experts out there and sometimes it’s hard to know who to follow and who to listen to. It seems everyone is an expert and some appear to be quite full of themselves. For me, those aren’t the ones I choose to listen to. The ones who have my attention are the ones who are focused more on how to build a relationship and less on themselves.

Leadership is rarely about “I” and always about “us.” It’s amazing how things change when you don’t care who gets credit for a good idea or a successful project. Good leaders tend to none of the credit, and all of the blame. If something goes wrong, then it falls to the leader to take responsibility for that. When sometimes turns out awesome, it was the team who did it.

What happens when we begin to think too highly of ourselves? I believe that’s when leaders lose their followers. People generally don’t want to work with or follow someone who believes they have all the answers and know THE only way to do something. They sure don’t want to follow someone who takes credit for everything.

Sadly, the loss of humility can be what causes great leaders to fail. When someone loses sight of the fact that it isn’t all about them, it can create that downward spiral that is described in Derailed: Five Lessons Learned from Catastrophic Failures of Leadership (NelsonFree) by Tim Irwin. (This link is an Amazon affiliate link.) We’ve all seen it and it’s pretty ugly to watch that happen to someone.

Does this mean you should think less of yourself and your skills? Of course not. What it does mean is that you develop a mindset that thinks of others first. It makes it all about your audience, about those around you. One of my favorite quotes is “humility doesn’t mean you think less of yourself, it just means you think of yourself less.” In the end, that really is what it’s about.

How about you? What examples of humility have you seen in leaders? Please share your thoughts here in the comments section.

Welcome to the Nicholls Leadership Institute blog. Leadership, and in particular leading with integrity, has long been a passion of mine. I hope to provide meaningful information and dialogue here and hope you will join us. Be sure to sign up below so you don’t miss something as new things are posted.