Today I saw this video by Daniel Pink. It is fascinating information about what motivates people. Leaders would be wise to understand this concept and see how they can put things into play in their own organization. I hope you will take a few minutes and watch it and then add your comments below.

“The Heart Mender” is a book that I recently read as a part of my participation in the BookSneeze program by Thomas Nelson Publishers. It’s a pretty cool thing to do, and if you have a blog and you like to read, you might check it out. In exchange for writing a review on a blog, they will send you the book. This book comes with an added bonus because they sent me an extra copy to give away on my blog. Stay tuned for how you can win a copy for yourself!

This book is a good mix of history and great storytelling. In 1942, German subs are dispatched to the Gulf of Mexico to sink U.S. vessels carrying goods and fuel. While taking a late-night walk, Helen Mason—widowed by war—discovers the near-lifeless body of a German sailor. Enraged at the site of Josef Landermann’s uniform, Helen is prepared to leave him to die when an unusual phrase, faintly uttered, changes her mind. In The Heart Mender, a small town must prepare itself for the worst the world has to offer, and Josef and Helen must reconcile their pasts to create a future.

I have been a fan of Andy Andrews’ work since I read “The Traveler’s Gift” and found it so profoundly impacted my life. I must admit, though, that there was always one book I hadn’t really read, even though I purchased it, “Island of Saints.” I’m not really even sure why I didn’t read it, it just seemed at the time that it didn’t hold much appeal to me. Imagine my surprise when, in the author’s notes in the front of the book, I learned this is the same story under a new title. Determined to fulfill my commitment in the BookSneeze program, I was committed to reading it this time. What I found is that it was a hard book to put down and I read nonstop until it was done. It is an amazing story.

Why a book about forgiveness on a leadership blog? Because forgiveness is about second chances. It’s about letting go of the past. I believe as leaders we need to be able to do both, forgive, and give second chances. In leadership roles, we often find ourselves hurt, and unfortunately sometimes we are also the one hurting someone else. That makes this book a great lesson for leaders, and I hope you will read the book for yourself. It has caused me to really evaluate some things in my own life and make some changes.

No Man is an Island

This concept really is a powerful one. The quote comes from John Donne and was written in 1623. He wrote: “No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of a continent, a part of the main. If a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less…Any man’s death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind; and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.”

As humans, we are interconnected to each other. The story takes place on an island, which is part of the symbolism in the book. And yet, there is a portion of the book that really spoke to me. It is spoken by Margaret, one of the characters in the book, to her husband, talking about the quote above. It is on page 157 of the book, and says:
“Where is it written that for one person to forgive another, the offender must ask for forgiveness? Where is it written–not in the Bible, for sure–that for one person to forgive another, the offender must deserve it? How about this…where is it written that for one person to forgive another, the offender has to approve it, accept it, or even know about it? …. ‘No man is an island’ if we choose not to forgive. Not to forgive means we yield ourselves to another person’s control–another person’s governing values and his attitudes and actions. We are forced by someone else into sequences of act and response, of outrage and revenge, and you know what? It always gets worse. Our present, when we refuse to forgive, is endlessly overwhelmed by the past. But we become an ‘island’ when we forgive. The act sets us apart from the burdens of people we generally don’t like in the first place! Forgiveness frees the forgiver.

Sometimes we attach our entire lives to the moment we were hurt and allow it to define and consume our very existence. We travel with that hurt–that offense–and brood over it every time it comes to mind. We sleep with it, eat with it. The ‘wrong’ that has been done to us dictates how we speak to our children, our spouses, our friends…Even when those who have mistreated us, abused us, cheated us, or oppressed us…my God, Billy, even when they die, our anger and resentment do not have the decency to do the same! Our hurt continues to live.”

Her husband’s response was a simple one: “Until we forgive. I see it. There is no such thing as managing one’s anger. It simply can’t be done. The only answer is to forgive…and get rid of it forever.”

What powerful words and what amazing truth they hold. So many times we allow those hurts in our lives to impact us, even after the person is long gone. Forgiveness really is for the forgiver, not the offender. What a powerful thought that the simple act of forgiving someone does not rely on them wanting it, asking for it, accepting it, or even deserving it. Yet, to forgive frees us from the hold that the anger has on us.

I am so thankful that this book was a choice for me to read. The message is powerful and one that needs to be shared more often.

How you can win a copy of The Heart Mender
Thomas Nelson has given me a copy to give away here on this blog. To be eligible for our drawing, you need to do two things:
Respond here in the comments section with why you would like to have a copy of the book. Post a link to this blog post to your Facebook or Twitter account. The winner will be drawn from those who participate and will be notified next week. You must post by Sunday, May 23, in order to be eligible.

I look forward to your responses!

Warren Bennis is quoted as saying “Managers are people who do things right, while leaders do the right thing.” I have always thought that was a powerful statement. Both well-intentioned, and yet generally with very different outcomes.

All around us, the world is changing. It can be unsettling. Our country is in a financial crisis. Today’s news is filled with yet another terrorist attack that we don’t understand or have all of the information on, leading to uncertainty. Part of the country is besieged with flooding and people have lost their lives.

Companies, too, are changing. Many have downsized, some are closing, and mergers and acquisitions happen so fast that you often aren’t sure who your employer will be tomorrow, or even if you will have one. It is during these uncertain times that leaders must step up to the plate and lead their teams well to minimize the negative impact that fear creates.

How can you do that?

Speak of the change positively and in terms of benefits. You can take the conversation from “how does this impact me?” to “how will things be better?” Even if you’re not sure about the change yourself, it’s important that leaders remain positive and confident. If you aren’t behind things, your team will sense that fast and not support it either.

Allow people to express their fear. Many times people just don’t want change because they fear how it will impact them. That’s a reality, don’t try to ignore it or sweep it under the rug. It may help to ask the question, “what’s the worst that could happen?” That often allows irrational fears to be put on the table that people may not be able to express any other way.

Sometimes, however, the change really is a negative to someone. They are losing their job, or the company is closing. At this time, it’s important to allow them to express their feelings and fears, and allow them the dignity of leaving on high ground. Leadership can help with this by being compassionate and understanding, yet firm in redirecting negativity to a professional response.

Most importantly, be honest with the people you lead. The saddest thing to see is a leader who loses their integrity when times are hard. It causes those you lead to lose faith in you, sometimes in themselves, and sometimes in the things they believed were true about the working relationships. Even worse, this kind of leadership can cause others to feel as if they are losing their own integrity because of the direction of the leader. I believe this happens when leaders operate in fear and are not forthcoming. Hold your head high and do all with integrity, no matter what the situation. In the end, it is worth it.

What about you? What are some good, or not so good, examples you have experienced of leaders leading change?