Today I saw this video by Daniel Pink. It is fascinating information about what motivates people. Leaders would be wise to understand this concept and see how they can put things into play in their own organization. I hope you will take a few minutes and watch it and then add your comments below.
“The Heart Mender” is a book that I recently read as a part of my participation in the BookSneeze program by Thomas Nelson Publishers. It’s a pretty cool thing to do, and if you have a blog and you like to read, you might check it out. In exchange for writing a review on a blog, they will send you the book. This book comes with an added bonus because they sent me an extra copy to give away on my blog. Stay tuned for how you can win a copy for yourself!
This book is a good mix of history and great storytelling. In 1942, German subs are dispatched to the Gulf of Mexico to sink U.S. vessels carrying goods and fuel. While taking a late-night walk, Helen Mason—widowed by war—discovers the near-lifeless body of a German sailor. Enraged at the site of Josef Landermann’s uniform, Helen is prepared to leave him to die when an unusual phrase, faintly uttered, changes her mind. In The Heart Mender, a small town must prepare itself for the worst the world has to offer, and Josef and Helen must reconcile their pasts to create a future.
I have been a fan of Andy Andrews’ work since I read “The Traveler’s Gift” and found it so profoundly impacted my life. I must admit, though, that there was always one book I hadn’t really read, even though I purchased it, “Island of Saints.” I’m not really even sure why I didn’t read it, it just seemed at the time that it didn’t hold much appeal to me. Imagine my surprise when, in the author’s notes in the front of the book, I learned this is the same story under a new title. Determined to fulfill my commitment in the BookSneeze program, I was committed to reading it this time. What I found is that it was a hard book to put down and I read nonstop until it was done. It is an amazing story.
Why a book about forgiveness on a leadership blog? Because forgiveness is about second chances. It’s about letting go of the past. I believe as leaders we need to be able to do both, forgive, and give second chances. In leadership roles, we often find ourselves hurt, and unfortunately sometimes we are also the one hurting someone else. That makes this book a great lesson for leaders, and I hope you will read the book for yourself. It has caused me to really evaluate some things in my own life and make some changes.
No Man is an Island
This concept really is a powerful one. The quote comes from John Donne and was written in 1623. He wrote: “No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of a continent, a part of the main. If a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less…Any man’s death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind; and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.”
As humans, we are interconnected to each other. The story takes place on an island, which is part of the symbolism in the book. And yet, there is a portion of the book that really spoke to me. It is spoken by Margaret, one of the characters in the book, to her husband, talking about the quote above. It is on page 157 of the book, and says:
“Where is it written that for one person to forgive another, the offender must ask for forgiveness? Where is it written–not in the Bible, for sure–that for one person to forgive another, the offender must deserve it? How about this…where is it written that for one person to forgive another, the offender has to approve it, accept it, or even know about it? …. ‘No man is an island’ if we choose not to forgive. Not to forgive means we yield ourselves to another person’s control–another person’s governing values and his attitudes and actions. We are forced by someone else into sequences of act and response, of outrage and revenge, and you know what? It always gets worse. Our present, when we refuse to forgive, is endlessly overwhelmed by the past. But we become an ‘island’ when we forgive. The act sets us apart from the burdens of people we generally don’t like in the first place! Forgiveness frees the forgiver.
Sometimes we attach our entire lives to the moment we were hurt and allow it to define and consume our very existence. We travel with that hurt–that offense–and brood over it every time it comes to mind. We sleep with it, eat with it. The ‘wrong’ that has been done to us dictates how we speak to our children, our spouses, our friends…Even when those who have mistreated us, abused us, cheated us, or oppressed us…my God, Billy, even when they die, our anger and resentment do not have the decency to do the same! Our hurt continues to live.”
Her husband’s response was a simple one: “Until we forgive. I see it. There is no such thing as managing one’s anger. It simply can’t be done. The only answer is to forgive…and get rid of it forever.”
What powerful words and what amazing truth they hold. So many times we allow those hurts in our lives to impact us, even after the person is long gone. Forgiveness really is for the forgiver, not the offender. What a powerful thought that the simple act of forgiving someone does not rely on them wanting it, asking for it, accepting it, or even deserving it. Yet, to forgive frees us from the hold that the anger has on us.
I am so thankful that this book was a choice for me to read. The message is powerful and one that needs to be shared more often.
How you can win a copy of The Heart Mender
Thomas Nelson has given me a copy to give away here on this blog. To be eligible for our drawing, you need to do two things:
Respond here in the comments section with why you would like to have a copy of the book. Post a link to this blog post to your Facebook or Twitter account. The winner will be drawn from those who participate and will be notified next week. You must post by Sunday, May 23, in order to be eligible.
I look forward to your responses!
Warren Bennis is quoted as saying “Managers are people who do things right, while leaders do the right thing.” I have always thought that was a powerful statement. Both well-intentioned, and yet generally with very different outcomes.
All around us, the world is changing. It can be unsettling. Our country is in a financial crisis. Today’s news is filled with yet another terrorist attack that we don’t understand or have all of the information on, leading to uncertainty. Part of the country is besieged with flooding and people have lost their lives.
Companies, too, are changing. Many have downsized, some are closing, and mergers and acquisitions happen so fast that you often aren’t sure who your employer will be tomorrow, or even if you will have one. It is during these uncertain times that leaders must step up to the plate and lead their teams well to minimize the negative impact that fear creates.
How can you do that?
Speak of the change positively and in terms of benefits. You can take the conversation from “how does this impact me?” to “how will things be better?” Even if you’re not sure about the change yourself, it’s important that leaders remain positive and confident. If you aren’t behind things, your team will sense that fast and not support it either.
Allow people to express their fear. Many times people just don’t want change because they fear how it will impact them. That’s a reality, don’t try to ignore it or sweep it under the rug. It may help to ask the question, “what’s the worst that could happen?” That often allows irrational fears to be put on the table that people may not be able to express any other way.
Sometimes, however, the change really is a negative to someone. They are losing their job, or the company is closing. At this time, it’s important to allow them to express their feelings and fears, and allow them the dignity of leaving on high ground. Leadership can help with this by being compassionate and understanding, yet firm in redirecting negativity to a professional response.
Most importantly, be honest with the people you lead. The saddest thing to see is a leader who loses their integrity when times are hard. It causes those you lead to lose faith in you, sometimes in themselves, and sometimes in the things they believed were true about the working relationships. Even worse, this kind of leadership can cause others to feel as if they are losing their own integrity because of the direction of the leader. I believe this happens when leaders operate in fear and are not forthcoming. Hold your head high and do all with integrity, no matter what the situation. In the end, it is worth it.
What about you? What are some good, or not so good, examples you have experienced of leaders leading change?
Yesterday on Twitter someone asked “what’s your favorite movie?” I don’t usually respond to many general questions on Twitter, but this happens to be someone whose blog I follow so I responded, “Pay it Forward.” I simply love that movie. That discussion started me thinking about random acts of kindness and how they change not only the world around us, but us as well.
According to a group on Facebook, April 29 is National Pay It Forward Day. What does that really mean? It means simply a time to do something for a stranger somewhere, just do it, as a way of paying it forward. Think about how our world could be different on that day if every single person did that.
Several years ago I saw a show on Oprah about random acts of kindness. It became a thing with me, that I still do today. When I go through a toll booth on a highway, I always pay for the car behind me. It’s just a little something to brighten the day of folks, something done by a total stranger, and something for which nothing is required. While I imagine it made them feel good, it always made me feel awesome. It was just about a little something to make someone’s day where they didn’t even know who did it for them.
Tonight my brother, husband and I attended a concert. As we left the parking lot, we noticed that nobody was allowing any cars to get in the line. We eased out into the line with the help of the parking lot attendant, and joined the long line of cars heading toward the exit and the highway. Along the way there were several cars trying to get out of the parking lots, just waiting for anyone to offer them a break. We decided to do a little experiment. At each entrance, I let at least 2 or 3 cars go in front of me. I imagine there were some folks behind me who weren’t too happy, but those who were allowed to get in the line were sure glad. An interesting thing happened. Each car that was let in then stopped at the next entrance and let someone else in. And on it went. It was pretty fun to watch. Sure, it took a little longer to get to the entrance to the highway, but it was so worth it.
Another idea that is a fun thing to do is to see someone who serves in our military in a restaurant. Get in touch with their server and offer to pay, anonymously, for their meal, with a message that just says “thanks for your service.” Having lived out of the country the last two years, I am so thankful that I now live close to a military base and actually get a chance to do this now and then.
What about your neighbors? See some way you could do a little something to help them out? Don’t ask, just do it. Then watch what happens.
What can you do in a random act of kindness? Will you join me in the next week to find one random act of kindness a day that you can do for someone? I believe after the week, you’ll want to continue. Let’s see how many people we can influence. Enjoy it and I’d love to hear what you did and how it went!
I found this today while reading the blogs I normally follow and thought it was worth sharing with you.
For some help and ideas on this, see these topics:
Leadership and Humility
Don’t Be a Puffer Fish
ST. LOUIS–(BUSINESS WIRE)–A new Maritz® Poll conducted by Maritz Research, a leader in employee satisfaction research, paints a dire outlook of American workforce attitudes toward employers. Employees’ trust toward their workplace has taken a severe hit, with employees across all industry segments citing a lack of trust in not only senior leaders, but direct managers and co-workers as well.
“You’ve got to maintain credibility with your workforce as a means of getting them to totally buy in to the mission and vision of your company. Anything less fosters a disengaged workforce that puts self-interest at the top of its list of priorities.”
According to the poll, few (11 percent) employees strongly agree their managers show consistency between their words and actions. In addition, only seven percent of employees strongly agree they trust senior leaders to look out for their best interest, and only seven percent strongly agree they trust their co-workers to do so. Approximately one-fifth of respondents disagree that their company’s leader is completely honest and ethical, and one-quarter of respondents disagree that they trust management to make the right decisions in times of uncertainty. While workplace trust has been dwindling since the Enron, WorldCom, and Tyco scandals of the earlier part of the decade, threats of layoffs and downsizing have only exacerbated the problem.
“In times like these, trust is an especially critical issue. Companies need their best people more than ever to be engaged and productive. But, often, this process starts at the top,” says Rick Garlick, Ph.D., senior director of consulting and strategic implementation, Hospitality Research Group, Maritz Research. “You’ve got to maintain credibility with your workforce as a means of getting them to totally buy in to the mission and vision of your company. Anything less fosters a disengaged workforce that puts self-interest at the top of its list of priorities.”
In cases where management trust was strong, the study found that employees were significantly more committed to working for their companies. More than half of respondents (58 percent) with strong trust in their management were completely satisfied with their job, while only four percent of respondents with weak trust in management cited they were completely satisfied with their job.
The study also revealed:
* Nearly two-thirds (63 percent) of respondents with strong trust in management would be happy to spend the rest of their career with their present company. This compares to only seven percent of respondents who have weak trust in management.
* More than half of those surveyed (51 percent) with strong management trust would invest money in their company if they could versus only six percent of those surveyed with weak management trust.
* Only three percent of respondents with weak management trust look forward to coming to work everyday. For those with strong management trust, 50 percent responded they look forward to coming to work everyday.
Which Industry Fares Well? Hospitality Employees and Its Customers
While the survey suggests there is room for improvement across all sectors, the hospitality industry seems to have some advantages over others. For example, hospitality employees (14 percent) are more likely than other industry segments (9 percent) to rate their company as a “fun place to work.” Hospitality sector employees also tend to rate their companies better on customer service-related issues and the impact they make:
* More than one-third (34 percent) completely understand how their work impacts customers’ experiences, compared to only 23 percent in other industries.
* Twenty percent believe they have the authority they need to respond promptly to customer problems and requests, versus just 15 percent of respondents in other industries.
Approximately one-fifth (21 percent) of hospitality respondents believe their customers would rate the service they deliver as excellent, compared to only 14 percent of respondents in other segments. However, there is room for improvement. Only 15 percent of employees agree that their company has the policies, systems and procedures in place to deliver outstanding customer service.
“With the hospitality industry taking one of the biggest hits due to poor economic conditions and negative perceptions, it is promising that employees feel positive about the connection of their daily work to customer service issues. But, it is still not a rosy picture when it comes to engagement. The results show that a lack of trust runs rampant in this sector as well, which impacts employees’ perceived long term career development opportunities, co-worker relationships, and productivity levels,” says Garlick.
Don’t slash that recognition program
The weak economy forced companies to cut costs across the organization. And, unfortunately, formal recognition programs were frequently sacrificed. More than one-third of respondents (33 percent) cited their company scaled back or eliminated their recognition program in the past year. There is some data, at least from the employees’ perspective, to suggest these cuts have had an impact on the quality of service they deliver to customers. Among employees whose companies kept recognition programs intact, 25 percent strongly agreed their customers would rate their service as excellent. Among those whose companies cut back on their recognition programs or never had one, only 14 percent strongly agreed customers would rate their service as excellent.
“Recognition programs are critical to demonstrating to employees that they are valued and appreciated for the work they perform. It’s an important engagement tool, as it helps to reinforce messages about how people are making an impact,” says Garlick. “This is a wake-up call for management teams that consider employee recognition programs as expendable. Not only do recognition programs positively impact employee engagement levels, they ultimately lead to positive customer service perceptions, which impact the bottom line.”
About Maritz® Poll
Maritz® Poll is a copyrighted poll conducted since 1988 by Maritz Research. Maritz Poll comprises regular surveys on topics related to the automotive, financial services, hospitality, retail, technology, and telecommunications sectors as well as workplace issues. This poll was conducted March 1-5, 2010. The 2,004 respondents were people who were employed full time and drawn from a national e-mail panel. Sampling error for the overall poll is +/-3 percent. Results of the poll may be used in print or broadcast media, provided credit is given to the Maritz Poll and/or Maritz Research.
About Maritz Research
As one of the world’s largest marketing research firms, Maritz Research, a unit of Maritz, helps many of today’s most successful companies improve performance through an actionable understanding of their customers, employees, and channel partners. Founded in 1973, Maritz Research offers a range of strategic and tactical solutions concentrating primarily in the automotive, financial services, hospitality, telecommunications and technology and retail industries. Maritz Research projects are carried out in compliance with the International Standard: ISO 20252:2006 Market, Opinion, and Social Research Standard. Maritz Research is a member of CASRO and official sponsor of the American Marketing Association.
So, how about it? What can leaders do to regain that lost trust? More important, what can we do to not lose that trust in the first place?
Leaders spend a lot of time focused on goals and how to achieve them. We often find ourselves running in ten different directions (on a good day!) and at the end of the day, not really sure what we have accomplished. Consider this quote:
“What comes first, the compass or the clock? Before one can truly manage time (the clock), it is important to know where you are going, what your priorities and goals are, in which direction you are headed (the compass). Where you are headed is more important than how fast you are going. Rather than always focusing on what’s urgent, learn to focus on what is really important.”
Priorities are important, no matter what aspect of life you’re talking about. Operating on a simple to do list isn’t very effective if you don’t know which things on that list are really important. Without prioritizing those things, the juggling we do feels like we are juggling huge boulders instead of simple foam balls. And when one of those things falls to the ground, it creates a much bigger ripple effect.
Take a look at your to do list. Things are easy to prioritize if you make those lists according to your values. What is most important? What will have the biggest impact? Too often in our attempt to juggle things and get it all done, we neglect some of those things that we say we really value.
I’d like to say juggling all of the priorities in my life is easy and I’ve accomplished it. I haven’t. There are days when I realize that, while I may have gotten all of the “work” done for the day, I haven’t done much with family or friends. Balance in that area is important.
I like to start by looking at my list of values. Then compare that to my list of priorities. Do they all fit within that list of values? If not, perhaps it doesn’t belong on my priority list. I then take that list and put a simple A, B, C to it. A means it is important and urgent and must get done today. The B list are things that are still important and need to get done, and yet if they aren’t finished today, it’s okay. Those things on the C list are my “wish” list of things I’d like to do. This helps as I can attack the A list first, then move to the B list, and if there’s time in the day, I can do some of the C’s. If something doesn’t get done on my B list, I move it to the next day. It’s a simple system, but one that seems to work.
How do you juggle your priorities? What challenges do you have in doing that? Let’s have some dialogue!
I love the Simple Truths products and have used them a lot in working with leaders. This morning received the video below in my email. I thought it was worth sharing with you.
As leaders, it is so important that we “walk the talk” in our lives. Leaders are watched all the time to see if they are actually doing what they tell others to do. This is true no matter where you are, your work, your family, friends, and coworkers. It is disheartening to have a leader who you believe in and see them not do this. And yet, it is perhaps one of the most challenging things we must do as leaders.
Take a few short minutes and watch this film and then I’d love to hear your comments below. What is your biggest challenge and how will you meet it today?
This saying by Theodore Roosevelt is one of my favorites: “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.”
Good leadership is caring about the people you lead. The reality is that nobody really cares how much knowledge you have, but they do care about how you make them feel.
I love the site “Simple Truths” as they have such inspiring products. Today I received this link to a great new movie about the richest man in town. I hope you will take a few minutes to watch the video and think about how it applies to your own leadership style.
Do you know someone who touches lives like this? Let’s here about it!
Have you ever had one of those days, or weeks, when you’re the leader and you work to motivate the folks around you, yet nothing you do seems to work? Or something you tried just fell flat and didn’t work at? I think we have all had those times and they sure aren’t fun. What happens then? Who motivates the motivator?
A friend of mine once said “leadership’s not for sissies,” and I sure agree with that statement. It’s tough work. There are days when it just seems too much to keep going and you want to quit. What do you do then? Well, a good leader just bucks up and moves on, right? Yes, and if only it were that easy.
I believe leaders need to have a plan for those times when things just aren’t easy. Here are a few suggestions for you:
What have I left out? What other things do you do to find motivation when you just don’t feel like it? I look forward to your comments.
It’s funny how life works sometimes. Last week right after I wrote this post, I came across a great example that related to leadership in some of my reading. I wished I had seen it before that post, so decided this morning it’s worth doing a “part two” to that post, just to share this story with you.
Last week when we talked about what happens when leaders derail is that they sometimes lose sight of their humility. I think it may be fear that causes that, and the puffer fish is a great example of what happens. When a puffer fish is threatened, they swallow huge amounts of water or air, causing them to grow several times their normal size. This allows them, in most instances, to not become prey for another animal. If you take a look at this picture, it also doesn’t make them very pretty. On one of my first visits to Barbados, I bought a puffer fish spine, all blown up, from a street vendor. I was fascinated with how big this little fish had become.
What we need to remember is that being humble is about not boasting or exaggerating our size. We often live in a “fake it till you make it” kind of world, and in reality that’s not authentic leadership. So, I encourage you, don’t become the puffer fish in your leadership style. It may work for the fish, but it’s not only unattractive but usually unsuccessful in leadership.
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